This year was a bad one for tornadoes, as I'm sure most of the nation knows.
I've always been afraid of tornadoes, and I think I always will be. This year, I wasn't in an outward panic like I was last year, but I was able to keep it all inside.
When both of the May tornadoes came through, I was at work and Chris was at home.
May 20th:
I knew we were in for bad weather when I left for work that day and I kept telling myself that I'd be okay at work because my refuge area in the casino is one of the safest in the building.
All day we had been listening to the News on our computers and phones, just to keep an eye on the weather. Just before 3pm there was an announcement that a tornado had touched down just west of the city of Newcastle.
This started a panic in me because I had made friends that worked at the Newcastle Casino in my year and a half working there. I started frantically e-mailing and texting my friends in the area, and I could just feel my chest tightening when I didn't get a response from them. I knew it was most likely because they were taking their safety precautions and were away from their computers and phones, but it didn't ease the dread in my heart. When the Severe Weather announcements said that the tornado was passed Newcastle and heading for Moore, I sat patiently and waited for my friends to respond, and turned my attention to my friends that I knew lived in the Moore area.
As the test messages started pouring in from my friends and family in California and other parts of Oklahoma, I tried weeding through the "Are you OK?"s and "Where are you?"s to find the replies from those I had contacted first to make sure everyone I cared about was alright.
The tornado died down and reports of destruction started pouring in.
The Warren Theater in Moore off of I-25 has been hit!
Two schools destroyed with many children, teachers and other staff still unaccounted for!
Cars overturned, crunched and thrown across highways and interstates!
Homes destroyed and the death toll steadily rising!
It would be real! This couldn't be true!
I'd just driven down I-35 today on my way to work and it was fine! I just saw the Warren in all it's glory standing tall, with the new IMAX addition gleaming proud! There's no way it was all destroyed in a matter of horrifying minutes!
But it was true...it was all real.
The worst I'd ever lived through before those terrifying moments had been a could of wildfires that had mostly burned over uninhabited land with most casualties being wild animals and plants. Never had I seen anything like this in a place I called home.
The rest of the day dragged by in a haze. A sort of shocked disbelief, even though nobody I loved had been harmed. Nothing I owned was destroyed.
Come time for me to go home, the reality of the chaos really hit harder.
Heavy rains rolled in after the tornado had dissipated, causing severe flooding and furthering the destruction. Most of the major interstates I knew would be closed due to the tornado's destruction, though I didn't know how bad the flooding had become.
I drove up through Newcastle to get home that night instead of my usual route up along I-35, but once I got to the beginning of I-44, which would have taken me from Newcastle Casino to my home, I found that the police has blocked the interstate off and were forcing traffic to choose alternate routes to reach their destinations. I didn't know how to get home from there, and so I did what anyone would do when lost. I called my mommy.
My mom pulled up a map on her computer and after I told her where I was, she looked for city streets and side roads that would take me home. I memorized the roads and hung up so I could head home. Power lines were down across Central Oklahoma, which made for a dark and dreary drive home. Down one of the country roads that was supposed to take me home, there was a car that had hit a power line, and the pole was in the road and in some gently flowing water. Cars were taking turns going around the power line, and as I drove over the water, all I could think of was "Please don't shock me...please don't mess up my truck...I just want to get home."
Not a mile further down the same road I came to a 4-way intersection and the road I was on was heavily flooded. Rather than chancing it through the rushing water, I turned right and called my mom again. Since I still had no idea where I was or how to get home, she gave me a new set of directions. Shortly after, started to recognize street names and finally I knew where I was.

As I drove through Oklahoma City, it seemed like power was out at every other intersection. Sometimes the traffic lights were on, sometimes they were flashing red, and sometimes they weren't even flashing. I almost ran through an intersection because it was so dark outside, but I saw another car coming up on my right, so I stopped (
though just barely).
I knew it was going to be a hit or a miss as to if I would have power at my house, because every other block wouldn't have any.
I pulled on in to my driveway two hours after I got off work, unlocked my front door and flipped on the lights.
They came on.
My night was over.
I was emotionally drained.
I traded my work clothes for my coziest pajamas, scooped up my kitty and crawled in to bed.
May 31st
More bad weather was in the forecast and I didn't think I had it in me to stress and panic anymore.
I was wrong.
A severe storm was forming west of my house, moving slowly and developing rapidly.
Again, we had the news playing on multiple devices and most of the weathermen were focused on the El Reno area.

Half jokingly, I told my Supervisor that if they mentioned a tornado near the fairgrounds, she should get prepared for me to start crying since I lived on the other side of I-44 of the state fairgrounds.
Not long after that, I wished I had never said anything because I had jinxed myself.
A wide tornado had touched down just south of El Reno and was traveling west, basically following I-40 and making a beeline for the fairgrounds.
I cried so much after the tornado that went through Moore just a week and a half prior, that I didn't have it in me to cry anymore, even though this tornado was heaving towards my home and my husband.
If I believed in a God, I would have been on my knees praying, promising anything and everything for the safety of my home and family.
The storm chasers on the news weren't much help, not for a lack of trying, but because there was so much rain and wind. They kept showing shots of what they thought could be a tornado, but they weren't sure because if a tornado had touched down, it was rain wrapped and nearly impossible to see.
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The only damage to our house was the siding. |
Even without a tornado on the ground, there were strong, damaging winds ripping up my neighborhood and threatening to topple trees, power lines and anything that stood in the way.
It felt like the storm was just circling overhead with the threat of a tornado touching down just teasing me.
At some point in all my worrying, Riverwind was given the go-ahead to take cover from a different storm.
As my fellow dispatchers and I gathered up our emergency bag and radios and headed to the vault to take cover, I never felt a pang of worry for myself. I was never concerned with my own safety, just the safety of my friends, family, and home.
Not long after getting in to our safe area, we were told we could come out because there was no tornado in our area, just heavy straight winds. The winds were dangerous, sure, but they wouldn't be taking out the building any time soon. Not unless they got about double or more in strength.
Again, this storm moved on and I was left exhausted.
Luckily there was no downpour of rain after the tornado and getting home was much easier.
The Aftermath
I hate to admit that it took such a series of events for me to realize that Oklahoma is in fact my home.
I live here, I work here, I go to school here, I have family here, I've made friends here.
It took a devastating storm and my fearing for my loved ones lives and well-being for me to understand that I belong here and am a part of this state.
I've made donations to the Red Cross and Salvation Army. I've been raising money
selling jewelry so that I may donate my profits to the Moore public school system, so that they may rebuild and the children there can try and return to a sense of normalcy.
So far, I've raised $214 from selling jewelry.
Chris was able to raise about $600 for a friend of his that lost his home, and gave me another $200 to turn in with my donation to Moore schools.
I only wish I could have done more.
Oklahoma...
I'm sorry it took me almost two years to realize that you are my second home.
I'm sorry I didn't understand sooner that I belong here now.
I won't forget it again.